


I'm not good with words, but that doesn't mean I don't mean them

by LittleMissKnowItAll



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buckley-Diaz Family (9-1-1 TV), Declarations Of Love, Diaz Family Feels (9-1-1 TV), Established Relationship, Feelings, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, lots and lots of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29568375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissKnowItAll/pseuds/LittleMissKnowItAll
Summary: Though they've been together for months and it's going really great, the words "I love you" have not been said yet. Until now, until Eddie unknowingly utters them...
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 317





	I'm not good with words, but that doesn't mean I don't mean them

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fileformat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fileformat/gifts).



> Dear Fileformat, I'm pretty sure you won't remember this but almost a year ago, you left a prompt underneath one of my Buddie fic's. I'm so sorry it took THIS long to get back to you on that one, and I'm sorry for not following the prompt exactly. ;) Hope you'll still like it!
> 
> Prompt: Maybe you can write Buck and Eddie in an established relationship and Eddie deciding to tell Buck he loves him for the first time? There can be a misunderstanding, some angst or just some fluff but I think it would be nice to see Eddie confess to him how he feels, since he comes across as the one who's not emotional in the relationship

Eddie wasn’t good with words. He knew it, his family knew it, he was pretty sure even people who just saw a picture of him could tell that he was just…yeah, not good with words. But he’d been trying, especially these past few months. He can’t really pinpoint the exact moment, but he remembers just letting go of all of his doubts and speaking his mind during the time Buck’s parents came to visit. It had hurt him to see Buck that way, to hear Buck say those things about himself. So he’d tried and he’d gotten better at it, he thought. He hoped.

Buck’s parents….well, Eddie still sees a little red whenever he thinks about those people. It had taken Buck a while to be okay again after _that_ bomb had been dropped. During that time, the people around him could do nothing more than try to make sure Buck knew how much they loved him every chance they got.

It was a few months later, mere days after Buck had become an uncle that they had finally gotten together. Buck had said that it was never a question of ‘if’, only a question of ‘when’. At the time though, Eddie hadn’t been so sure that was true.

See, Eddie had known how Buck felt about him. He could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice, feel it in his touch. And he felt the same way, how could he not? Buck was everything and more, his best friend, his partner. But Eddie had been realistic – pessimistic, his brain supplied – about the situation. Buck was young, beautiful and too good for this world. Eddie was a widower with a son and though he knew, truly knew how much Christopher meant to Buck, he couldn’t ask that of him. He simply couldn’t expect Buck to always be there for them and the thought of Buck one day leaving was enough to never give in to his feelings.

But that was then. Now, a little over five months after their first kiss, Eddie is pretty sure Buck had meant it when he’d said that this was it for him.

It was a normal Thursday evening, Buck cooking dinner as Eddie helped Christopher with his homework. Though this was far from the first evening they’d spent like this, it was the first time Eddie was aware of the domesticity of it all. Of the love of his life cooking dinner for him and his son…their son? Eddie’s heart skipped a beat at the thought. He was brought back to reality when he heard a book slam shut.

“Done”, Christopher announced proudly, shoving the book further onto the table.

As if waiting for that exact cue, Buck came in with two full plates. “All right, superman! Sounds like someone deserves some spaghetti.”

He winked at Christopher, laughing as the kid's smile grew as Buck put down both plates.

“With extra cheese?”

Putting a hand to his heart, as if insulted, Buck answered, “Of course, what do you take me for? Only the best for our A+ student!”

There it was again, that fuzzy feeling filling him up, as the word ‘our’ left Buck’s mouth. God, he loved this man.

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, staring into nothingness. All he knows is that when he looks down at a giggling Christopher, poking him in the arm, Buck is sitting across from him with his own full plate.

He’s looking at Eddie with a raised eyebrow, as if telepathically asking Eddie is he’s okay. He nods, a genuine smile on his lips as he pokes Christopher back, causing another giggle fest.

The rest of dinner is the same as always, with Buck asking Christopher about his day and Christopher launching into a million stories. Eddie has to interrupt him a few times to remind him to eat his pasta before it gets cold. Each time, he eats a bite or two, chewing like he’s trying to win an eating contest, before continuing his story. After a while, Eddie gives up, shaking his head as Christopher launches into a new story. His own plate now empty, he can’t help but let his eyes drift back to Buck. Buck, whose wide eyes and bright grin are focused solely on the words coming out of Christopher’s mouth, as if he’s telling the most thrilling tale of all time. God, he loved this man.

Dinner is of course followed by some ice cream, which they eat sitting pressed together on the couch. Within minutes, Christopher goes from sitting between them to basically laying on top of them. He’s out before the main character is properly introduced and Buck turns the movie off, looking at the sleeping boy as he says, “we’ll finish it tomorrow”.

Eddie nods at him, watching as Buck’s hand holds onto Christopher’s legs as he moves forward to grab his drink. After taking a sip, he holds the glass in his hand and Eddie’s sure he only does it so he won’t risk waking Christopher up by moving again. God, I love you.

Suddenly, the world stops, Buck’s eyes going impossibly wide as he stares at him. Eddie’s pretty sure he stops breathing as he realizes he said that last thought out loud. “God, I love you”…Yep, that had definitely been his own voice.

He doesn’t know why, but he feels the need to apologize. Was it too soon? Would Buck feel pressured to say it back. Sure, Eddie felt that way but he never really said it out loud like that before. To anyone, come to think of it. For a second, he wonders if Buck is going to say the words he’s heard so often in movies, a soft “thank you” or an awkward “how sweet”.

He doesn’t have to wonder for long as Buck suddenly jumps into action, carefully picking Christopher up. “Wait here”, he says, cheeks bright red. Eddie can only watch as Buck leaves the room, his legs feeling oddly like jelly. He rubs a hand down his face, isn’t he too old for this? For the butterflies, the jelly legs, all of it. He sits and wonders for god knows how long, until he hears Buck say goodnight to Christopher. Okay, he needs to pull himself together. Whatever Buck is going to say, he can handle it. Right?

He sits up straighter, wondering for a second if he should get up, if this was a conversation to be had at the kitchen table or maybe even standing near the front door.

Finally, Buck enters the living room and though he looks nervous, there’s an unmistakable sparkle in his eyes. Eddie feels like he can finally breathe again. They’re okay.

“So”, Buck starts awkwardly, standing next to the couch, hands in his pockets. He nods, most likely to himself, as if he’s giving himself a mental peptalk, before sitting back down in his spot on the couch.

“So”, Eddie mirrors his tone, turning to him so his knee knocks into Buck’s upper leg. Though it’s a small thing, a little way of grounding them both, it seems to do the trick as Buck’s face breaks into a smile.

“You love me”, Buck says, sounding almost incredulous. Like he’s amazed Eddie, Buck’s best friend who he has been dating for almost half a year now, loves him. Eddie hates it.

“I do”, Eddie says firmly, moving closer and putting a hand on Buck’s leg. “I really do.” He waits for Buck to look up, waits till he’s able to hold his gaze so that Buck knows he means every word as he says it again, this time fully aware he’s saying the words. “I love you.”

“Eddie, I…” Buck starts, sounding happy yet unsure and Eddie immediately shushes him, squeezing his leg with the hand still resting there.

“You don’t have to say anything”, he says, needing Buck to know he means it. From the way he smiles and leans in closer, Eddie thinks he gets it and leans in too.

The kiss is soft, softer than usual, and if Eddie were a poet, he’d describe it as being bathed in pure sunlight. Somewhere along the way, the hand not holding Buck’s leg finds it’s way to Buck’s neck, thumb tracing his jawline.

He feels Buck’s pulse, feels how it speeds up after Buck pulls away to throw him another blinding smile. God, I love you.

Buck starts laughing, catching himself quickly and turning his head instinctively to check if he hears Christopher. Luckily, the boy is a heavy sleeper and a little laughter is definitely not going to wake him up. “Yeah, you already mentioned that.”

Ah, so Eddie’s mouth had betrayed him once again. He can't help but giggle lightly.

Leaning back against the cushions, staring at Buck, he’s pretty sure this is the happiest he has ever and could ever be. And then Buck opens his mouth and proves him wrong.

“I love you too”


End file.
